How will you surrender?
One of the big things I’m surrendering this eclipse season is my concern of what others think of me. Most of my life revolved around pleasing others. Over giving, yes manning, overworking, burning myself out, and then being angry but not ever realizing that my actions were the reason for my resentment.
In my former success-driven life, I used career advancement like crack cocaine. There is nothing more intoxicating to me than succeeding at career-ish things. On the opposite side, there is nothing more hard-hitting than career failure. After leaving my corporate job, I yo-yo’ed between believing in myself and losing faith that I had the endurance and tenacity to be an entrepreneur. At the turning point, I realized that I have value to share with the world and audacious goal I want to achieve. It also became crystal clear to me that I am willing to fight for it—to the point of being horrendously uncomfortable for the short term.
Being Uncomfortable and the edge of faith
Right there, the tipping point of change. Pain. It’s strained; it has an edge, if other people are around you’re embarrassed in some way, and it feels—— confining. That’s the part of transformation where you don’t think you can expand anymore—but you breathe and somehow magic happens. Wild synchronicities happen on the edge of faith.
Ten Days Ago
My bf and I were gearing up to go to Arizona. I was so anxious about the trip—This isn’t a good time for a vacay—I need to work. Would we spend too much money? Would Vega skunk on the plane? Where are we going to stay? Would we end up stranded at the airport due to weather delays? Would my seat mates hate me for bringing a dog? What would I do if I had to use the bathroom on the flight—do I take Vega with me? Would she even fit in the bathroom with me? That’s not even the tip of the iceberg. My worries swirled in my brain, but I resolved to make the trip anyway.
May we allow our hearts to persist
I’ve learned to stop doing everything fear says. And it is exhilarating.
I was determined to set fear and anxiety aside and choose courage. Each choice that requires a little bit of courage—requires me to step out of my fear loop and anchor to my bliss.
90% of the list Anxiety gave me was fictitious. Everything worked out perfectly. No delayed flights, Vega won the hearts of many, and our Arizona adventure went without a hitch. In addition to a wedding, we also took some time to see the Grand Canyon and relax. I fell more in love with my bf, and felt more abundant than ever. There were friends who I reconnected with and it felt so soul quenching.
How to Shift to Surrender
a journaling recipe for alchemy
1. List of all the things you’re worried about and that make you feel anxious.
2. Follow each thought. Free write for 5-10 minutes or longer if you’re feeling the flow. No holding back, no judgement on what you write, let it all out. Notice how your worry list makes you feel.
3. Observe and release. In this step, your job is to look at the thing with an outsider’s perspective. There have been times when my anxiety gave me pertinent information. To tell the difference, is the information fear based or heart based? If it isn’t serving your highest good, release it! I like burning my lists and practicing Emotional Freedom Technique, but any other emotional clearing technique will do.
4. Redefine: Declare how you want to feel. How do you want to feel? Declare it, in the present tense. Some call this a mantra or affirmation. I prefer the term anchor. Affirmations always felt like bullshit to me. An anchor is a phrase in the form of a declaration that is true to you. Think of it as a bread crumb trail back to your Divinity. Recurring anxieties and worry thoughts happen to the best of us. I’ve done TONS of emotional clearing related to feelings of not being good enough, yet I sometimes see this feeling resurface from time to time. Instead of getting pulled back down to the victim mentality and “woah is me” vibe, I set anchors ahead of time. An anchor is a declaration, a soul phrase that helps me remember who I really am and puts everything back into perspective.
5. Take action. All of this shadow work—writing and emotional clearing of anxiety and worry—is a great exercise, but what are you going to do about it? Our feelings are a map to our soul’s path. Take the shadow work to the light. All feelings are information you can use to transform previous schemas and live the life you want.