Misogyny Lobotomy—Shadow work for Lightworkers on Election Eve

emotions feminine femininism

I’m with Her.
Because my feelings matter.
I’m with her
Because some wounded man child is screaming vile poison
I’m with her
I’m with her
Because I am scared that if Trump is elected, we will be living in a post-apocolyptic society in 5 years but at least we’ll get to finally unplug from social media. lols

About that vile poison. Look at where we are—a precipice in history where everyone thinks they are right and each side is so disappointed when they find that their friends are voting for the other one. Everyone has mega feels, therapists even attest to this. I attest to it as my PTSD has been triggered and anxiety is only kept in check with yoga. Without it, I get flushed and heart-palpitate-y.

There is some crazy stuff swirling around out in the ethers. We are shedding light to our shadows. Here’s the shadow work invitation. Are we are ready as a collective consciousness to address it?

A facebook person posted that the election isn’t about my feelings. Well, yes. It is. It is very much about my feelings. We are healing on a soul level as a collective. And everyone’s feelings have been hurt. You’ve been wronged, even if you don’t feel it. You’ve been oppressed, even if life feels particularly lucky and privleged. Those who have been oppressed, kept down, enslaved, treated as second class, demonized, guilted, and shamed for their existance—we are the people who are here to wake the rest of y’all up. For those of us who are woke, we have some healing to attend to.

Could it be possible that our next step evolutionarily is to advance by way of self-awareness? Could the next rung on the ladder be that we value happiness and fulfillment over gender roles, social class, or racial background?

As we become aware and heal, there are some shadows we must nurture. The first step is to acknowledge. In a whole other set of steps, the first one is denial. We see denial all around us. Remember the word denial.

Wounded Gender Archetypes

Shadow 1: Wounded Feminine

We are dealing with the wounded feminine, and Trump is not the first fella to ruffle our collective feathers. We’ve been waking up from a slumber for a while now, and boy we are a force to be reckoned with. For sake of word count, I’ll start in 1920s and put some pics here of the hideous things people said about Suffragettes.



Oh, no! He had to do his own laundry.

We were back on the war front in the 60s, burned our bras, birthed the Feminine Mystique, you treated us like cattle and pumped us full of hormones. (Surprise, surprise, an Indiana University study found that birth control pills are not to be trifled with.) Instead of moving on from oppression and wounds, it continued/s to occur in our homes, in the workplace, at school, in math class, and globally our women sisters have even more issues to tackle.

The more healing work I do, I learn that many women suffer from issues related to the 2nd chakra. I thought my horrible cramps and crazy hormone swings were just me, but there are many more of us in the room. According to Louise Hay, our bodies reflect our minds. On a deep, ancestral level—the feminine has been wounded. The 2nd Chakra, or Svadhisthana Chakra is the seat of creativity, reproduction; the life, death, life cycle; our identity and how we value ourselves.  Our sense of self feels threatened in this society.  I am not happy with that.

A.C. (after Cosby)

The wounded feminine made several plays from the 70s through early 2000s, but I want to focus within the last couple years. Particularly, A.C. (after Cosby). Our power is on the upswing. I am super excited. What makes me so ultra turned on about it is that we are bringing to light our issues in a feminine way: Truth telling. We tell our stories of pain with vivid detail. The feeling in our gut. The song on the radio. The amount of clouds in the sky that day. Down to the way an accuser smelled like CK One.

Our raw truth is cracking people in two. We are making people FEEL. All that resistance? That’s a good sign we are headed in the right direction.  We’re tapping into our power.

When I read the Bill Cosby accounts, I quite literaly fell onto the floor when a river of emotion broke free within me. It was disorienting. Truth is like that. After going through the fire, I choose Truth over ignorance any day. So, folks—ladies AND gents, let’s stay tuned into this station. Make art, do what brings you joy, feel all the feels, move your body, watch Beyonce’s Lemonade. We must keep on feeling. Yeah, it feels yucky, but if we stick with it, I think we are going to be alright as a human race.

Shadow 2: Wounded Masculine

This raw feminine energy that slices anything but truth in two—a little angry, but in a just and gracious way—is the energy that is so frightening to a wounded masculine archetype. Too sensitive, too outspoken, too bossy, a bitch, a whore.

You say “Too sensitive,”

I say, “And what about it?” Yes. I am sensitive. Although an Aries, I have a Cancer moon, Cancer ascendent and a loaded 4th house—basically all water. Of course I am sensitive. And of course it matters!

I am angry.

I am tired of getting lowballed on the payscale. I am sick of the manspreading epidemic on CTA, library, coffee shop, even sidewalks. Regarding sidewalk etiquette, there is no reason for bros to walk 4 abreast.  I am fucking done with my male family members telling me to ‘be careful’ in any situation that includes me not sitting at home. They do because they care, but they also know me and they know that once I’m pushed so far, I snap.  And my bite hurts like hell. They fear of what would happen to me if I stood up for myself. A woman expressing her power and demanding her right to personal sovereignty—THE HORROR! Keep your head down and smile lest you be seen as a THREAT.  Women in power are viewed as threats. And evil. Sound familiar?

“Well behaved women seldom make history.” Laurel Thatcher Ulrich’s words aren’t true because women who are in history books were all trouble makers, it’s because society painted them in that way. Why? Because rocking the patriarchal boat could dismantle the fabric of reality.

I would rather go down fighting for what I believe rather than keep my head down and mouth shut. This “be careful” sentiment is laughable. They worry. Haha. It’s only funny because they have no.idea. I know the terror of realizing my personal space being invaded by a fucking creepy man and I can’t do anything about it. Oh my god, i hope he doesn’t touch me. Please don’t touch me.  What makes me most angry about the “be careful” thing is the “this is the way the world is” shrug of shoulders.

No. And No. You don’t get to tell me my experience. You don’t get to tell me that this is the way the world is.  Nope. I’m not going to settle for a world like that. No! You don’t get to warn me of the fear I experience every single day. I always think there is a scary man following me in the night.  Sort of as a joke to myself but also like a lockdown drill. But it is very real. You know, prepare-for-the-worst-case-scenario planning. Beyond my love of making plans, I don’t want to live this way. Fearful that if I wear the wrong thing or speak up for myself a stranger might cause me physical harm. That is no way to live at all.

Truly, I am tired. I am angry of all this bullshit that is wrapped up into being a woman—and I don’t even know the half of the oppression women felt in the 1920s. I can’t conceive the depth of emotion and weight of oppression that many groups experience on a daily basis today. It breaks my heart. Shadow work we can all do is to explore our reactions and beliefs. When a person shares something with you that their feelings have been hurt or that they feel ostracized for the color of their skin, listen. Don’t argue. There’s something else there. Perception is relative and no one can tell another what to feel. It’s as simple as that. You don’t have to agree. Remember denial? It’s the first step of the grief process.

Misogyny Lobotomy

I once thought there was a continuum of misogyny. But instead of a continuum, I propose 3 types: aware and willing to evolve, aware and unwilling to change, and unaware/in denial.

There will always be a group that doesn’t want to change and will fight tooth and nail to maintain the status quo. The wave of feminine energy is destroying the structures that our man children built in sand. It’s hard to change, but more difficult to shed a layer of identification that defines you. I think in the next few years we will begin to see more talk of the divine masculine and the wounded masculine in the mainstream. This is good. If my awesome sandcastle were crushed by some bitch feminine energy, I would cry about it too. Lightworkers, be aware that the wounded masculine is going to need space to heal and process emotions just as the wounded feminine. Look at the span of years we (wounded fem) have wrestled from our slumber. Granted, men have been shoving their patriarchy (among other things) down our throats  for a long ass time. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t make space at the table.

Heal. Let’s heal our current generations dealing with poor emotional health; we must concurrently put our focus on the emotional health and overall well being of kids and young adults. More than ever, introducing emotional education early and often in schools will have a lasting affect on how our kids learn to love themselves, and, in turn, treat others with dignity and respect.

We have some trash in our backyard, and it is time to be radically honest about what is working and what isn’t.

Trash in Our Backyard

Shrinking middle class
Privileged vs. Oppressed
Gender Issues
Mental health
Achievement Gap
K-12 Education
Cost of Higher Ed
Military Spending
Our food is making us sick

Oh, and don’t forget what is irrefutable scientific fact—our climate is changing and global warming is real. We can work on all of the other stuff, but if we ignore Truth, we might not have a place to live in a generation.

Are We Ready?

It doesn’t matter if we are ready to address it or not. We have some trash in our backyard and it’s time to clean up the freaking mess. We have a real, urgent need for change. We are facing a bunch of problems—some that have festered from old wounds and others we haven’t faced before, so we are going to have to roll up our sleeves and try the stuff we’ve never done.

Emotional awareness is the start of the new revolution.

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